ACT III SCENE IV OLIVIA's garden. [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA] OLIVIA I have sent after him: he says he'll come; How shall I feast him? what bestow of him? For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd. I speak too loud. Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil, And suits well for a servant with my fortunes: Where is Malvolio? MARIA He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He is, sure, possessed, madam. OLIVIA Why, what's the matter? does he rave? MARIA No. madam, he does nothing but smile: your ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits. OLIVIA Go call him hither. [Exit MARIA] I am as mad as he, If sad and merry madness equal be. [Re-enter MARIA, with MALVOLIO] How now, Malvolio! MALVOLIO Sweet lady, ho, ho. OLIVIA Smilest thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. MALVOLIO Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and please all.' OLIVIA Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee? MALVOLIO Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand. OLIVIA Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? MALVOLIO To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee. OLIVIA God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand so oft? MARIA How do you, Malvolio? MALVOLIO At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws. MARIA Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? MALVOLIO 'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ. OLIVIA What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? MALVOLIO 'Some are born great,'-- OLIVIA Ha! MALVOLIO 'Some achieve greatness,'-- OLIVIA What sayest thou? MALVOLIO 'And some have greatness thrust upon them.' OLIVIA Heaven restore thee! MALVOLIO 'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'-- OLIVIA Thy yellow stockings! MALVOLIO 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.' OLIVIA Cross-gartered! MALVOLIO 'Go to thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'-- OLIVIA Am I made? MALVOLIO 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.' OLIVIA Why, this is very midsummer madness. [Enter Servant] Servant Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure. OLIVIA I'll come to him. [Exit Servant] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA] MALVOLIO O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;' and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance--What can be said? Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. [Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN] SIR TOBY BELCH Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him. FABIAN Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man? MALVOLIO Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go off. MARIA Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. MALVOLIO Ah, ha! does she so? SIR TOBY BELCH Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently with him: let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind. MALVOLIO Do you know what you say? MARIA La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched! FABIAN Carry his water to the wise woman. MARIA Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. MALVOLIO How now, mistress! MARIA O Lord! SIR TOBY BELCH Prithee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: do you not see you move him? let me alone with him. FABIAN No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. SIR TOBY BELCH Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck? MALVOLIO Sir! SIR TOBY BELCH Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him, foul collier! MARIA Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray. MALVOLIO My prayers, minx! MARIA No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness. MALVOLIO Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element: you shall know more hereafter. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH Is't possible? FABIAN If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. SIR TOBY BELCH His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. MARIA Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint. FABIAN Why, we shall make him mad indeed. MARIA The house will be the quieter. SIR TOBY BELCH Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad: we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. [Enter SIR ANDREW] FABIAN More matter for a May morning. SIR ANDREW Here's the challenge, read it: warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't. FABIAN Is't so saucy? SIR ANDREW Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read. SIR TOBY BELCH Give me. [Reads] 'Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.' FABIAN Good, and valiant. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.' FABIAN A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.' FABIAN Very brief, and to exceeding good sense--less. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,'-- FABIAN Good. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.' FABIAN Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: good. SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy, ANDREW AGUECHEEK. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him. MARIA You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. SIR TOBY BELCH Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away! SIR ANDREW Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. [Re-enter OLIVIA, with VIOLA] FABIAN Here he comes with your niece: give them way till he take leave, and presently after him. SIR TOBY BELCH I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, FABIAN, and MARIA] OLIVIA I have said too much unto a heart of stone And laid mine honour too unchary out: There's something in me that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. VIOLA With the same 'havior that your passion bears Goes on my master's grief. OLIVIA Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you; And I beseech you come again to-morrow. What shall you ask of me that I'll deny, That honour saved may upon asking give? VIOLA Nothing but this; your true love for my master. OLIVIA How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you? VIOLA I will acquit you. OLIVIA Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well: A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. [Exit] [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN] SIR TOBY BELCH Gentleman, God save thee. VIOLA And you, sir. SIR TOBY BELCH That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly. VIOLA You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. SIR TOBY BELCH You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal. VIOLA I pray you, sir, what is he? SIR TOBY BELCH He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't. VIOLA I will return again into the house and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk. SIR TOBY BELCH Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury: therefore, get you on and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. VIOLA This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. SIR TOBY BELCH I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit] VIOLA Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? FABIAN I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. VIOLA I beseech you, what manner of man is he? FABIAN Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can. VIOLA I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt] [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH, with SIR ANDREW] SIR TOBY BELCH Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy. SIR ANDREW Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. SIR TOBY BELCH Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. SIR ANDREW Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him damned ere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. SIR TOBY BELCH I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't: this shall end without the perdition of souls. [Aside] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. [Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA] [To FABIAN] I have his horse to take up the quarrel: I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. FABIAN He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. SIR TOBY BELCH [To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you. VIOLA [Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. FABIAN Give ground, if you see him furious. SIR TOBY BELCH Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. SIR ANDREW Pray God, he keep his oath! VIOLA I do assure you, 'tis against my will. [They draw] [Enter ANTONIO] ANTONIO Put up your sword. If this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me: If you offend him, I for him defy you. SIR TOBY BELCH You, sir! why, what are you? ANTONIO One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. SIR TOBY BELCH Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. [They draw] [Enter Officers] FABIAN O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers. SIR TOBY BELCH I'll be with you anon. VIOLA Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please. SIR ANDREW Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily and reins well. First Officer This is the man; do thy office. Second Officer Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino. ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir. First Officer No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away: he knows I know him well. ANTONIO I must obey. [To VIOLA] This comes with seeking you: But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. What will you do, now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me Much more for what I cannot do for you Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed; But be of comfort. Second Officer Come, sir, away. ANTONIO I must entreat of you some of that money. VIOLA What money, sir? For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Out of my lean and low ability I'll lend you something: my having is not much; I'll make division of my present with you: Hold, there's half my coffer. ANTONIO Will you deny me now? Is't possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Lest that it make me so unsound a man As to upbraid you with those kindnesses That I have done for you. VIOLA I know of none; Nor know I you by voice or any feature: I hate ingratitude more in a man Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. ANTONIO O heavens themselves! Second Officer Come, sir, I pray you, go. ANTONIO Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death, Relieved him with such sanctity of love, And to his image, which methought did promise Most venerable worth, did I devotion. First Officer What's that to us? The time goes by: away! ANTONIO But O how vile an idol proves this god Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. In nature there's no blemish but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind: Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil Are empty trunks o'erflourish'd by the devil. First Officer The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir. ANTONIO Lead me on. [Exit with Officers] VIOLA Methinks his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself: so do not I. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! SIR TOBY BELCH Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. VIOLA He named Sebastian: I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such and so In favour was my brother, and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. SIR ANDREW 'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him. SIR TOBY BELCH Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. SIR ANDREW An I do not,-- FABIAN Come, let's see the event. SIR TOBY BELCH I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet. [Exeunt] ACT IV SCENE I Before OLIVIA's house. [Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown] Clown Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? SEBASTIAN Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow: Let me be clear of thee. Clown Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so. SEBASTIAN I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou know'st not me. Clown Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming? SEBASTIAN I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There's money for thee: if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clown By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report--after fourteen years' purchase. [Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN] SIR ANDREW Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. SEBASTIAN Why, there's for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad? SIR TOBY BELCH Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clown This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. [Exit] SIR TOBY BELCH Come on, sir; hold. SIR ANDREW Nay, let him alone: I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. SEBASTIAN Let go thy hand. SIR TOBY BELCH Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. SEBASTIAN I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword. SIR TOBY BELCH What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. [Enter OLIVIA] OLIVIA Hold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold! SIR TOBY BELCH Madam! OLIVIA Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario. Rudesby, be gone! [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN] I prithee, gentle friend, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and thou unjust extent Against thy peace. Go with me to my house, And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go: Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me, He started one poor heart of mine in thee. SEBASTIAN What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream: Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep! OLIVIA Nay, come, I prithee; would thou'ldst be ruled by me! SEBASTIAN Madam, I will. OLIVIA O, say so, and so be! [Exeunt] TWELFTH NIGHT ACT IV SCENE II OLIVIA's house. [Enter MARIA and Clown] MARIA Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard; make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst. [Exit] Clown Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] SIR TOBY BELCH Jove bless thee, master Parson. Clown Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;' so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for, what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'? SIR TOBY BELCH To him, Sir Topas. Clown What, ho, I say! peace in this prison! SIR TOBY BELCH The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. MALVOLIO [Within] Who calls there? Clown Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Clown Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man! talkest thou nothing but of ladies? SIR TOBY BELCH Well said, Master Parson. MALVOLIO Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clown Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy: sayest thou that house is dark? MALVOLIO As hell, Sir Topas. Clown Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clearstores toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? MALVOLIO I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. Clown Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. MALVOLIO I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are: make the trial of it in any constant question. Clown What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? MALVOLIO That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clown What thinkest thou of his opinion? MALVOLIO I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clown Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas! SIR TOBY BELCH My most exquisite Sir Topas! Clown Nay, I am for all waters. MARIA Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown: he sees thee not. SIR TOBY BELCH To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] Clown [Singing] 'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does.' MALVOLIO Fool! Clown 'My lady is unkind, perdy.' MALVOLIO Fool! Clown 'Alas, why is she so?' MALVOLIO Fool, I say! Clown 'She loves another'--Who calls, ha? MALVOLIO Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper: as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clown Master Malvolio? MALVOLIO Ay, good fool. Clown Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? MALVOLIO Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clown But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. MALVOLIO They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clown Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. MALVOLIO Sir Topas! Clown Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas. Merry, amen. I will, sir, I will. MALVOLIO Fool, fool, fool, I say! Clown Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am shent for speaking to you. MALVOLIO Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Clown Well-a-day that you were, sir MALVOLIO By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper and light; and convey what I will set down to my lady: it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clown I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit? MALVOLIO Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clown Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink. MALVOLIO Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I prithee, be gone. Clown [Singing] I am gone, sir, And anon, sir, I'll be with you again, In a trice, Like to the old Vice, Your need to sustain; Who, with dagger of lath, In his rage and his wrath, Cries, ah, ha! to the devil: Like a mad lad, Pare thy nails, dad; Adieu, good man devil. [Exit]